The Stimulus: Barry Channels Dave
“It’s Saturday. And everybody works on Saturday.”
It’s not true that Barack Obama started his weekly radio address with those words. But otherwise, he seemed to be channeling Kevin Kline in the movie “Dave.”
You remember Dave. He was the temp agency owner who became an accidental president. And decided that would be a great opportunity to make the federal government the employer of first resort.
Dave: “Have you seen the look in someone’s face … the day they finally get a job? … They look like they could fly. And it’s not about the paycheck. It’s about looking in the mirror …and knowing you’ve done something valuable with your day.”
Barry O: “But this isn’t about numbers. It’s about each of the families those numbers represent. It’s about the rising unease and frustration that so many of you are feeling during this holiday season. Will you be able to put your kids through college? Will you be able to afford health care? Will you be able to retire with dignity and security? Will your job or your husband’s job or your daughter’s or son’s job be the next one cut?”
Dave: “From today, I’m making it the responsibility of this government to find a job for every American who wants one.”
Barry O: “That is why I have asked my economic team to develop an economic recovery plan for both Wall Street and Main Street that will help save or create at least two and a half million jobs, while rebuilding our infrastructure, improving our schools, reducing our dependence on oil, and saving billions of dollars.”
Dave: “And if one person could start to feel that way, then others … soon all these other problems we’re facing may not seem so impossible. You don’t know what you can do until you stand up and decide to try. That’s it. Let’s get to work. Thank you.”
Helen Thomas (playing a toadying liberal dean of White House correspondents – that is, herself): “Thank YOU, Mr. President.”
Barry O: “We have faced difficult times before, times when our economic destiny seemed to be slipping out of our hands. And at each moment, we have risen to meet the challenge, as one people united by a sense of common purpose. And I know that Americans can rise to the moment once again.”
Bob M (playing an underemployed conservative PR guy and blogger – that is, himself): “Thank YOU, Mr. President-Elect.”
Now that we’ve had that bit of fun, how does the Prezelect intend to create or save 2.5 million jobs?
Barry O: “We need to upgrade our federal buildings by replacing old heating systems and installing efficient light bulbs.”
Stimulus riddle: How many unemployed Americans does it take to change a light bulb in a federal building?
Answer: 2.5 million. One to change the bulb and 2,499,999 to pay the government employee union dues.
Actually, that’s a bit of an overstatement. Because 44 has other plans to create jobs as well.
Barry O: “My economic recovery plan will launch the most sweeping effort to modernize and upgrade school buildings that this country has ever seen. We will repair broken schools, make them energy-efficient, and put new computers in our classrooms.”
More energy efficiency. I’m assuming that means additional light bulbs. Wal-Mart will be very busy. Still, repairing broken schools sounds like a good idea. I’m sure the maintenance unions will be thrilled with that one – if they let you within 100 miles.
But wait. There’s more.
Barry O: “It is unacceptable that the United States ranks 15th in the world in broadband adoption. Here, in the country that invented the internet, every child should have the chance to get online, and they’ll get that chance when I’m President – because that’s how we’ll strengthen America’s competitiveness in the world. In addition to connecting our libraries and schools to the internet, we must also ensure that our hospitals are connected to each other through the internet.”
It’s not exactly clear, but the Prezelect appears to be mixing apples and oranges here. One alleged cause of the number 15 spot in the OECD global ranking – a highly controversial and, BTW, year-and-a-half old measurement of a business that is expanding in Internet time – is our shortfall when it comes to household broadband penetration. More government spending on schools and libraries isn’t going to fix that problem. But how about cutting high federal, state and local taxes on Internet and wireless access and stopping local governments from “franchising” access – a means of extorting payments and service requirements at the cost of competition, choice and affordability?
Barry O: “We will create millions of jobs by making the single largest new investment in our national infrastructure since the creation of the federal highway system in the 1950s…. If a state doesn’t act quickly to invest in roads and bridges in their communities, they’ll lose the money.”
I’m assuming this “investment” — read, “earmark orgy” — will involve a few Bridges to Somewhere. Better start with a new span or two into Washington, DC to accommodate the new federal workers needed to oversee all this “infrastructure” improvement. In case you were wondering where all these jobs were really coming from … or going to.
As Ed Morrissey points out at Hot Air, “Obama wants to create a new WPA to renew American infrastructure not because it’s needed as much as Obama needs to ensure his re-election.” In part by paying off the government employee unions who helped ensure his first election.
The bidding war has already started on the package, with the latest word that it could come in at $750 billion or more.
Everyone may or may not be working on January 20. But a lot of people will someday be paying.
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[…] OCDE. Pero solucionarlo para los Colegios no va a haber que mejore el uso doméstico. Como recuerda Bob Maistros en su blog, el problema del uso doméstico está en los elevados impuestos federales, estatales y locales […]
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