Applying the “What If?” Test
What if …
I, Robert Paul Maistros, were to take in large piles of Other People’s Money … toss it all and more to the four winds in a wild global Financial Supermarket Sweep, including gobbling up a sinking subprime mortgage firm … run to the government crying for more of OPM, no strings attached … run out and blow that on a neutered, crippled, debt-laden investment firm … gin up massive losses … issue my employees worthless stock as part of their compensation … then run back to the government whining that if I didnt get ANOTHER infusion of OPM, I would take my ball and go home? All while charging exorbitant fees and reducing service to customers and collecting additional large piles of cash in salary and bonus?
What if ….
I, Robert Paul Maistros, despite being “repeatedly advised in writing” by my bosses that I was responsible for paying my own Social Security and Medicare taxes and then paying them after being AUDITED for two years by the IRS, made the “common mistake” of not paying those taxes for two previous years? Not to mention overseeing “rescue plans” that resulted in the collapse and renewed bailouts of a number of the firms involved?
What if …
I, Robert Paul Maistros, engaged in a massive Ponzi scheme that ultimately collapsed, leading to at least one suicide, destroying the life savings of yet untold numbers individuals and driving venerated charitable institutions into bankruptcy … then violated the terms of my bail by sneaking treasures and cash to friends and family and attempting to squirrel away another huge chunk of my ill-gotten gains?
Well, of course:
-I would get handed $20 billion more in taxpayers’ money and begged to complete my deal.
-I would get to pay my back taxes without penalty or interest AND get appointed Treasury Secretary and overseer of the IRS with — as Michelle Malkin points out — virtually no opposition on either side of the aisle.
-I would get sent back home to luxuriate my $7-million Manhattan apartment while awaiting a trial that could take years.
As if.
In reality:
-I would be ushered straight to bankruptcy court, do not pass go, do not collect $200 (much less $45 billion).
-I would be hit with thousands of dollars of interest and penalties and maybe a prosecution for tax-dodging.
-I would be tossed into jail and the keys would be thrown away until I accounted for every last dollar I had stolen.
What’s sauce for my goose should be even spicier for Bank of America, Timothy Geithner and Bernie Madoff.
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